I’m Just Average Teen Me. You might remember a post I did a little over a month ago, called Trying to Trust, where I told you all about how I told my friends about a guy in my year that I maybe, kind of like a little bit. If you’ve got an even better memory, you’ll know that I codenamed him Flynn, probably because I freaking love Flynn Rider from Tangled. ❤
Before today, I hadn’t regretted telling them (Penny, Britt and Hayley) because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t know that Hayley spends three hours a week sat next to him in Geography lessons, or the random times where he’s asked Penny for chewing gum, or that he jokingly put his arm around Britt at some point. Basically, all was going swell, and I’d made them swear not to tell anyone.
Today though, as you have probably predicted, something changed. As I said in the other post, I like to keep things to myself, and I rarely trust anyone with any secrets. And today I was reminded just why.
To set the scene, the canteen is open from about 8:15 for people who either want somewhere to sit, or need breakfast before school starts. Penny, Ashley, Rachel and myself were all sat at a four person table. Penny and Ashley on one side, Rachel and me on the other. It’s no secret that between us all, there are numerous inside jokes and ships between friendship groups and whatnot. On the WhatsApp group chat with me, Britt, Penny and Hayley, there’s a message of dream ships (couples, otps, pairings – whatever you want to call them) and Penny said that she wanted to show everyone.
Quickly remembering that on there, it said ‘Jatm and Flynn’, I told Penny to stop, and she copied the text into a note so she could delete the ‘Flynn’ from it, before showing Rachel and Ashley. However, she didn’t delete Britt and a girl she likes. As you can imagine, Rachel and Ashley were pretty shocked about Britt’s ship, and no matter how we tried to tell them it was a joke, they still didn’t buy it.
I’m not completely sure what happened, but Penny ended up back on the chat, and had the original message on her phone screen. I said something along the lines of “Oh my God, Penny, get off the chat!” but she just held it closer to her chest, and started moving it into view with her hand gestures. I panicked, and grabbed the phone, doing everything I could to hide the screen, but somehow, it wasn’t enough.
“WHO’S FLYNN?!” Ashley shouted, and Rachel chimed in, too.
At this point, I was definitely freaking out, but thankfully there are at least 6 different guys with the same name, so there was a pretty wide variety of options. Nonetheless, they guessed it was him, along with every other Flynn in my year. I refused to answer to any of them. What really confused me was: Why didn’t Penny get it off the screen?
At this point, I’m 90% sure that Rachel knows exactly who it is, and the rest, well, I’d say I’m about 70% sure they’ll figure it out pretty soon.
After pacing around my bedroom, my head filled with what ifs and how and why and what am I gonna do, I’ve decided that I can take a lesson away from this: to keep things I don’t want other people to know, purely to myself, because anyone can betray your trust.
It might sound really stupid that this is all over a crush, but I’m a very private person, and rarely share things like that, so when it gets out of where I wanted it, I kind of have an emotional break-down…
As of right now, I have the WhatsApp group chat muted. They’ve realised that I’ve been missing, and Penny has said that she knows I’m annoyed, and briefly said she’s sorry. If I’m being completely honest, it sounds like she’s trying to make it seem like it wasn’t all her fault (if you sk me, I’m pretty sure it was). I’m trying not to jump right in and say “it’s okay” because I always forgive people way too quickly, and make it seem like I can brush it off, when in reality I’m dying on the inside, not to mention, it really isn’t okay.
Have you been in a similar situation?
–Just Average Teen Me