I’m Just Average Teen Me. Following Friday’s situation (to say the least), I’ve been anxious and nervous all weekend. I still have shaky knees when I walk down stairs, and I’ve been feeling sick at the thought of school on Monday… Clueless would be a good way to describe how I’m feeling about the whole thing: I don’t understand why Britt told them, and how on Earth I’m going to convince people I don’t without seeming overly defensive.
Anyways, that’s not what this post is about.
As soon as I got on the bus, I said on the group chat (Britt, Penny, Hayley and me) that I needed a break, and “see you on Monday.” That chat was a place where I could be totally myself, and not worry about what other people think, because they wouldn’t ever see it. Tables have turned and I’m not sure how I feel about it not being anywhere near as safe as I imagined it. Secrets get out, and I guess you could say it’s my fault for putting them in there in the first place.
Because of that, I’ve distanced myself from the chat, without a specific time I plan on being back; I don’t want to say something on there that ends up getting out again. Although I’ve muted the chat notifications, I still see the most recent message every time I go on to text Ashley. She’s been amazing with the whole dilemma, and promises to deny it if anyone finds out and asks. It’s probably good for you to know that even writing this is making me shake and shiver a little.
Usually, the messages are “JATM COME BACK” or “where the hell did Jatm go?”. If you ask me, I think it’s a slight invasion of privacy, when I quite clearly stated that I needed a break.
And that’s the main point of this post.
When people need a break from reality, don’t push them to come back.
By prying, you might feel like you’re getting closer to that person, but they’re stepping back further and further every time. Eventually, it’ll be harder for them to come back.
Space and time are vital to get your thoughts straight for some people, and disrespecting that, whether you realise it or not, could just add to the anxiety that they’re already feeling and force a distance between the two of you. Please, if there’s someone you know that has asked for space, just give it to them. Chances are, for them to have asked for space, they must really need it.
Think of it as a round-about – those spinny things in playgrounds? Maybe their round-about has gone spinning, and they’re getting dizzier and dizzier until they can’t think straight. The logical thing to do is to sit still, and relax. But if other people try getting onto that round-about while they’ve just started to get it under control, it’ll wobble, and it might even start spinning again. Don’t be the person that makes them lose that control again…
On that note, that’s the end of today’s post. I know, I posted yesterday, but I needed to get some thoughts out into the open, and it’s safe to say that it’s helped significantly. Thanks so much for reading; if you didn’t, I’d really have nobody to talk to about this ❤
–Just Average Teen Me