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Being Extremely Unproductive

Hey there people of the blogosphere 🙂

How’s life going? Good? I hope so.

I’m currently on half term break, and I have been for a week now (we finished last Friday). For those of you that don’t know what half term break is, it’s basically a week off school midway through the semester, as you might call it. In the UK, we have terms. 

But anyways, I have mock exams coming up in two weeks and two days, and I am not prepared in the slightest. 

With all the revision piling up, it got to the point where I had no idea what to revise, so I ended up binge watching romance movies and playing The Sims… Not the best way to prepare but hey. The school haven’t been all too good on advising us what to look over, since we haven’t been told which papers it even is that we’ll be sitting. Obviously for subjects like Geography, that could mean I might accidentally revise the wrong paper, which is a huge waste of time.

Not to mention that I have a slight lack of revision guides, and the majority of my school books are in school… So there’s not much to use! 

Anyhoozle, exams aside. 

It’s my birthday in a week and six days, which is slightly nerve wracking. For those of you that don’t know, I don’t particularly enjoy the spotlight of a birthday, and when I’ll be in school all day, holding birthday bags that my friends will no-doubt drown me in, it’s pretty difficult for people not to notice. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love to receive gifts and all, but I much prefer it at Christmas when it isn’t just me. Do you get what I mean?

However I guess you could say there’s a bonus. Last year, Britt and Penny tried to find a guy in the year above that I liked at the time and somehow make him say happy birthday. They failed, and didn’t find him, but I wouldn’t be all to surprised if they purposely walked me by Flynn, drawing all attention towards me and my birthday bags. I wouldn’t be complaining if he happened to notice 😉

I haven’t been posting much lately, and I’m sorry, but I’ve been trying to make blogging more of a hobby than a chore. In late 2016, keeping up with my schedule was proving pretty difficult, and I was scraping my brain for ideas the majority of the time. This year, I’ve been blogging about things that matter to me more, and I can talk about without having to force. I’m hoping you don’t mind that that’s sacrificing a few posts a week. 

I’ll try to gradually build it up, but for the meantime, just bare with me. 

You might be wondering where my favourites and monthly look-ahead posts have disappeared to, and I assure you, they will make a reappearance in the near future! But the favourites post will definitely be a lengthy one! 

I guess that’s all for today! See you around 🙂

Awkwardsaurus

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LET’S TALK ABOUT… MENSTRUAL CUPS

Hellooooo. 

Judging by the painfully capitalised and rather edgy title, you’re probably slightly concerned by my excitement. Chances are, there’s a bunch of people confused as to what a menstrual cup is. To be quite fair, this time last year, I was clueless.

Although considering you have its name, it shouldn’t be too difficult to guess. Menstrual is obviously period related (ooo she said period) and a cup… Well it’s a cup! 

Branded as DivaCups, Mooncups, Lunettes, FemmeCups and a variety of many other vaguely imaginative names, a menstrual cup is basically a little cup that goes right up there in your hoohaa during your lady time. 

Instead of absorbing blood, like a pad or tampon would, it collects it, and can be dumped out into a toilet, sink, wherever you feel like. Preferably not in the middle of a public space, though; you might get a few odd looks. It’s made of medical grade silicone (please do not buy any that aren’t) and (I think) has no risk of TSS, which I’m pretty sure every girl has frantically googled at one point in her life.

They all look a little something like this:

So, how exactly does one go about getting it in? Let me enlighten you. Menstrual cup insertion is an art that takes great practice to master (just wait until you get onto removal). I would say that after a full cycle and the first two days of another cycle, I am pretty confident.

There are various folds and whatnot to get it inside of you as smooth as possible, but the one I found to be most useful is the punch down fold. Basically, push down on the rim with a finger and fold it.

So it ends up like that. At this point, it’s pretty much the same size as a tampon, although possibly a tad bigger. I will warn you, getting it in was so difficult the first time, and if you’re a teenage virgin like myself, you’ll more than likely find it just as hard. BUT DON’T GIVE UP! 

Once the whole cup is inside (yes you’ll have to get a little up close and personal) it might take a bit of fiddling to pop open the fold, but you’ll know when it happens – trust me. If you hold the stem, and try to pull the cup up and down, you’ll be able to tell if it’s suctioned in there or not.

Now welcome to period bliss. 

Depending on your flow at the time, you can keep it in for up to 12 hours (I’m not sure if I went over once on one of my super light days?). On my heaviest days, I can keep them in for round about 6 hours if I’m up and moving around, but I can go a whole 8/9 hour sleep without having to wake up and change. And you don’t have to deal with feeling your uterus slide out everytime you stand up.

Once those hours have passed, you’ll be tasked with a slightly messy and possibly scary task – removing the cup. As you’ll probably find, it’ll have moved up slightly. Don’t panic, it’s still inside of you, it won’t get lost, and you’ll be able to reach it. For virgins especially, this part is a little difficult. I spent a good 10 minutes trying to get it out the first time I used it.

I’ve found the best way for me to do it, is to sit wide legged over a toilet, and just push one finger up until I reach where the rim of the cup is making contact with, well, the vagina (oh snap, she said vagina). Push there until you break the seal, and slowly bring the cup down. I don’t suggest yanking the stem, at least not while it exits, because you won’t have control and you’ll probably spill it everywhere. Yack.

Be careful not to drop the cup into the toilet, which I have done twice actually… Once you’ve took it out, rinse it, and stick it back in! 

TO SUMMARISE, here are some of my favourite thing about my MoonCup:

  • It was only £20, which covers around 5 years :O
  • I can sleep a whole night without period hassle
  • I don’t have to sit through lessons worried about leaking onto wooden lab stools
  • It’s eco friendly (who doesn’t love to support the world)
  • I won’t die of TSS
  • I literally forget that I’m on my period sometimes
  • I’ve become more familiar with my body in the process 
  • IT JUST FEELS EMPOWERING

So… If you are currently using pads or tampons, I literally couldn’t recommend this any more. TRY IT. It’s a huge game changer, and I’ll definitely never go back to pads and tampons.

SEE YOU AROUND KIDDOS ❤

-Awkwardsaurus

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Lessons of Love

Hello friends. 

I know, I posted yesterday and my schedule has been messed the hell up lately, but I thought that a post like this would maybe help some people, and I wanted to get some thoughts out.

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve had a pretty intense week, so I thought I’d share just one of the things that happened.

For a back story, in early October, a guy codenamed Jake asked out Rachel. He’d been our friend for a while, and was actually one of the first friends I made in high school. There was a really sweet paragraph over text about how he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since our travel day to Blackpool Pleasure Beach and asking if she would be his girlfriend. She replied saying that she’d love to.

Flash forward a few hours, and she’d changed her mind. She’d told Jake, over Facebook messenger, and he seemed pretty heartbroken. He wasn’t with us at school for a few days, but after about a week, everything was fairly back to normal.

Flash forward even further, to exactly a week ago. For the last few months Rachel has been battling with her feelings, and trying to balance the idea of having a boyfriend with liking Jake. She didn’t really know if she was ready to be the first of our friends in an actual relationship. She ended up talking to Jake, apologising (again) for everything that happened in October and ultimately, they briefly became a thing again. Briefly. The exact same thing happened. The next morning, she’d texted him to say that she wasn’t ready and that she wanted to focus on school first.

Again, he was heartbroken and said “he knew” that he shouldn’t have tried again. Again, he avoided us for a few days. But Wednesday wasn’t expected. 

On our group chat, he asked Tyler if he was still talking to a girl he’d been talking to, because he “needs someone to double date with”. He didn’t mention the person he was dating, but it was quite a shock. Rachel didn’t seem too bothered.

A day later was a whole other story. Rachel was literally devastated. She regrets ever putting her walls up, and knows that he more than likely won’t try with her again. She did the whole, listen to sad songs and cry constantly thing like she’d just gone through a breakup. At this point, she’d found out who it was, and told us all that she doesn’t approve.

Moral of the story: if you like someone or something, don’t let your fears stop you from pursuing them when you have the chance, because before you know it, that chance could be gone.

Byeeee 😀

Awkwardsaurus

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Haunted by Old Expectations

Hey there…

I’ve had a pretty intense week, with a lot of drama within my friendship group, so I’m a little emotionally drained at the moment. That does mean that things are getting to me more easily, and I’m getting emotional over little things. One of those things happens to be my A-Levels.

I know, I’m in Year 10, not college, but this time next year I’ll need to know what I want to take for my A-Levels. That’s five subjects that I have to chose. At this point, I only know I want to do geography. 

It’s no secret in my actual life that the numbers I get on exams happen to be higher than average. However I haven’t really mentioned it on my blog before because it’s a stereotype I get labelled with a lot (the smart girl really isn’t the best way to be known) and I wanted to keep that separate from here. But yeah. I’m not Einstein or anything, and to be quite honest, I don’t think I’m as intelligent as people assume I am.

Anyways, for the last few years I was set on studying medicine and becoming a doctor. My mum had encouraged me for years to go to Oxford or Cambridge University, the top unis in the UK for those of you that don’t know, and I went along with it.

But earlier this year, I did a post about how I felt lost, and didn’t want to do any of that anymore. I still have zero clue what I want to be when I’m older, but the subject I enjoy the most in school is Geography. 

With new UK exam grades (1-9, 9 being the highest) it’s more difficult to get top grades, which will really separate the people who get full marks from the ones that previously scraped an A*. Some may say unfortunately, but I definitely will not be coming out on results day with a string of 9s. Probably a mixture of 8s and 7s, which frankly isn’t high enough for Oxford or Cambridge. So I decided to knock some sense into my head and realise that it was slightly unpractical to think about.

My parents aren’t all too happy. They seem to think that all of my A-Level choices will be academic, with the majority being maths and sciences. If you ask me, that sounds like hell. I’d much rather do philosophy and geography with a few others. 

I quote this, by the way. My parents said “you can’t do dumb subjects.” and that they don’t want me to “ruin my chances” 

Personally, I think that it’s more important for me to be doing subjects that I know I can do well, and that I’ll enjoy whilst doing well, but they don’t seem to care much about the enjoyment.

I know, I have a year and a bit to go, but I really don’t like the idea that my parents might be deciding my own future for me, and it’s making me feel pretty trapped.

Any thoughts?

See y’all around ❤

Awkwardsaurus

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Whizzing

Shocker, Awkwardsaurus is back. Anyways, I’m in an odd mood at the moment, and I thought I’d write down (type up) some of my thoughts just to get them out and see if anyone else is feeling similar.
It started because I said that not much of anything eventful has happened in the last while. It feels like the last few weeks have blurred together and I’m just floating around in the middle somewhere. Or like I’m stuck here being pushed along by time. And when I think back to what’s actually happened, it just seems like schoolwork and revision. 

That being said, there’s that one incident of seeing Flynn cheekily stick his tongue out at someone which may have left me literally speechless but that’s for another time. 😉

I feel like it’s starting to hit me that I’m getting to a point that really matters. I’m in Year 10, so I’m about half way through my GCSE courses. In October, I’m leaving the country without my family for a school trip. I’ll be in a foreign country, without my best friends and without my family. I have zero clue what I want to take at college, let alone what I want to do with my life.

It’s slowly getting closer to when I won’t see my friends every single day – I’ll have made new ones. And today’s crushes will be yesterday’s embarrassment. 

For one of the first times, I’m willing the time to go slower. So I can appreciate everything I have while I still have it, because in a year and a half, I’ll have left high school, and as far away as it seems, the last year and a half have gone insanely quickly. I guess you could say I’m scared that this year and a half will go just as fast.

It’s a pretty stark contrast to the me just over two years ago. I’d convinced myself that I could make it through another four years without friends, that I could hang out alone for the rest of my high school life. I was begging for time to go quicker so I could just get it over with.

I didn’t think I’d end up with the friends I have now. I’ve never told anyone as much about me as I have to Britt and Penny, whether they told the secrets or not. They’re my best friends, and it’s scary to think that one day they might just be a reminiscent memory of my teenage life.

So from now, I plan to focus more on the present, not worry about what will happen in the future, or dwell on what’s already happened in the past. 

If any of you have felt similar, it’d be great to hear in the comments ❤

See you next time

Awkwardsaurus