Have you ever tasted tears saturated with makeup? It’s a slightly bitter, soap-like tinge, that I had never encountered until last week’s Wednesday. How I got there? Well that’s what this post is for.
Before we begin, it’s definitely useful to list all the significant people I’ll need to be mentioning.
The girl half of my friendship group: me, Britt, Penny, Hayley, Rachel, Regina.
The guy half: Tyler, Theo, Ryder, Elliot, Sam.
Others from another group: Megan (Elliot’s girlfriend) and Alysha.
Since October, there’s been a slightly romantic awkwardness between Rachel and Elliot, which wound up with him plucking up the courage to ask her out twice, and be rejected twice. Mind you, the only reason Rachel didn’t say yes was because she was scared.
Flash forward to early February, and Elliot starts dating Megan. Rachel was pretty destroyed, and I made a little post on it, called Lessons of Love.
Since then, Elliot has been spending some of his time with Megan’s group, and some with our group, so that he can balance the two. This all seems swell if you ask me, but according to my friends, he’s leaving us. Not to mention the rather strong dislike they’ve built up against Megan since.
A few months on, to last Saturday, Ryder was out at a birthday meal for Alysha with Megan, Elliot, and the rest of the people from that friendship group. On the group chat with Penny, Rachel, Regina and myself, there was a lot of speculation over whether Ryder was dating (or about to be dating) Alysha. Jumping too quickly to conclusions, Rachel took to the full group chat (everyone in our group) with a screenshot of a Wikipedia page for “Judas the Betrayer”.
The next few school days were packed with a good bit of persistent teasing, and by Tuesday, Ryder had decided to stay with Elliot, Megan, Alysha and their group at break times. Since Theo and Tyler were helping out around school, that left the girls and Sam. Sam clearly felt a little awkward about it, and wound up heading towards the other guys by Wednesday.
In RE (religious education), Penny, Britt, Rachel and Regina had decided to start afresh, and wipe free the guys because they were abandoning us. They were completely done with the friendship, and had told us all to leave the group chat. They even went to the extent of reintroducing themselves as the new boy-free girls that they were.
Since the guys are actually some of my longest friends (Elliot was the first person i spoke to in high school, and one of my only friends throughout Year 7), the whole situation was hurting my heart quite a lot, so I engrossed myself in the work we were doing, and kept my opinions to myself.
The bus drive home was havoc, as always on a school bus, but as soon as I’d made it home and closed the door to my bedroom, everything I’d felt all day started pouring out – literally, from my eyes. They welled up slightly at first, and then the tears just didn’t stop. Losing some of my best friends because they think I’m against them (especially when I’m completely the opposite) was heartbreaking to think about, and I was a literal mess.
It was then that I tasted the tears. Bitter and soapy. I looked in the mirror, and saw the nude coloured drops, meandering down, around my nose and either dropping off my chin or landing on my lips. I hadn’t washed off my makeup yet, and my under eye concealer was definitely not waterproof.
After ignoring hundreds of messages from the girls, begging me to leave the chat, I took to Instagram and created a new group. Me, Ryder, Sam and Elliot. I told them everything, about how I don’t hate them, how I really didn’t want to lose any friends and that I thought the girls were all being unreasonable, as well as hypocritical.
Sam instantly named the group “sane people chat” and Elliot was full of thanks that I hadn’t “jumped on the bandwagon too”. They all advised me not to mention the chat to the girls, and made sure I knew that if they “give you any shit” for talking to the guys (if they found out, that is), they’d be there.
Since then, we’ve been messaging every day to make up for barely talking in person, and I’ve really proven to myself that I’m in control of things.
You don’t have to do what your friends say, just because there’s more of them. If you want to be friends with certain people, nobody has any right to stop you.
I managed to keep every one of my friends, when I could easily have lost about 5.
Losing friends over silly fallouts isn’t worth it, and it’s important to hold onto the people you care about, as well as the memories you’ve made with them.