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Haunted by Old Expectations

Hey there…

I’ve had a pretty intense week, with a lot of drama within my friendship group, so I’m a little emotionally drained at the moment. That does mean that things are getting to me more easily, and I’m getting emotional over little things. One of those things happens to be my A-Levels.

I know, I’m in Year 10, not college, but this time next year I’ll need to know what I want to take for my A-Levels. That’s five subjects that I have to chose. At this point, I only know I want to do geography. 

It’s no secret in my actual life that the numbers I get on exams happen to be higher than average. However I haven’t really mentioned it on my blog before because it’s a stereotype I get labelled with a lot (the smart girl really isn’t the best way to be known) and I wanted to keep that separate from here. But yeah. I’m not Einstein or anything, and to be quite honest, I don’t think I’m as intelligent as people assume I am.

Anyways, for the last few years I was set on studying medicine and becoming a doctor. My mum had encouraged me for years to go to Oxford or Cambridge University, the top unis in the UK for those of you that don’t know, and I went along with it.

But earlier this year, I did a post about how I felt lost, and didn’t want to do any of that anymore. I still have zero clue what I want to be when I’m older, but the subject I enjoy the most in school is Geography. 

With new UK exam grades (1-9, 9 being the highest) it’s more difficult to get top grades, which will really separate the people who get full marks from the ones that previously scraped an A*. Some may say unfortunately, but I definitely will not be coming out on results day with a string of 9s. Probably a mixture of 8s and 7s, which frankly isn’t high enough for Oxford or Cambridge. So I decided to knock some sense into my head and realise that it was slightly unpractical to think about.

My parents aren’t all too happy. They seem to think that all of my A-Level choices will be academic, with the majority being maths and sciences. If you ask me, that sounds like hell. I’d much rather do philosophy and geography with a few others. 

I quote this, by the way. My parents said “you can’t do dumb subjects.” and that they don’t want me to “ruin my chances” 

Personally, I think that it’s more important for me to be doing subjects that I know I can do well, and that I’ll enjoy whilst doing well, but they don’t seem to care much about the enjoyment.

I know, I have a year and a bit to go, but I really don’t like the idea that my parents might be deciding my own future for me, and it’s making me feel pretty trapped.

Any thoughts?

See y’all around ❤


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I’m Awkwardsaurus. We’re four days into 2017, or the year that looks like a robot death machine, as Rachel describes it, and it hasn’t quite sunk in that when I go back to school, I’ll have to write 2017, instead of 2016.

Now that I guess you could say the year is kicking off into full swing, I thought I’d just do a little post looking forward to everything that will and might happen in the next year.

First off, I’m turning 15 this year. If you didn’t already know my age, then well, I’m 14, in Year 10, which I think would be the equivalent to freshman year at an American high school. I was just discussing with Bob actually, about how it’s so crazy that we start Year 11 in September (the oldest year of UK high schools) and how we still feel like we should be in Year 5. 15 just sounds old if you ask me, and I know to some of you it’ll sound young, especially if you’re older, which I know some of you are.

Just before my birthday, though, I’ll have mock exams. If you’re outside of the UK, you might not know what they are, or do other countries call them mocks too? Anyway, they’re basically practice GCSEs (big exams at the end of high school) but they’re used for grades for that year as well as a backup in case you miss the actual exams. So, obviously that’ll mean a lot of revision, even over my birthday. Exams last a week, starting on Ashley’s birthday. 😦

She’s four days younger than me, by the way! 😀

Flash a little further forward to April, and I’m going to see Shawn Mendes live for the Illuminate Tour! Ashley’s parents bought tickets for her birthday, so we’re both super excited about that! Although I’m pretty sure it’ll involve an emotional breakdown on Ashley’s behalf, since she’s seeing her future husband for the first time 😀

As the school year comes to a close, we’ll have our last travel day (in year 11, we’ll be on study leave, so we don’t go), which will be to Pleasure Beach in Blackpool, as it is every year. I’m super excited, and also clinging on to hope that the photographer from last July and November will still be there! ❤

After then, I’ll be preparing for a school trip to Italy. I’m kind of terrified, for so many reasons:

  1. I’m not going with any of my closest friends, since none of them signed up to go (it’ll make more sense if you read —> this post <—)
  2. I haven’t been abroad since I was four years old…
  3. So I haven’t been on a plane since I was four either…
  4. And on top of that, I have a fear of heights and I’m uncomfortable in small spaces
  5. FINALLY, this whole time I’ll have to stay completely chill because Flynn will be there. 😮

So, I guess you get the gist. 😀

But I am super excited, since I’ve been looking forward to it for so long, and it’ll be a chance to go out and adventure, while seeing some amazing landscapes and cultures! We climb Mt Vesuvius (the one that destroyed Pompeii) and go on a boat trip to the Island of Capri. It sounds so amazing, and I’m hoping the excitement dulls the nerves a little! Although if you have any similar experiences, let me know! 😀

Italy is in October, while we’re off for school holidays, so by that point I’ll be Year 11. There’ll probably be another mock week in December, which I think is the last one before real exams? I’m not sure.

Obviously there’ll be a bunch of other things happening throughout the year, big and small, that I never could have guessed would be happening. After all, there’s no way I could’ve predicted some of the crazy stuff that happened last year!

So, here’s to 2017, hopefully a year where we fix the situations we’ve got the world into, and start working for a better tomorrow, while enjoying the time we have! ❤

Clink clink, have a great year 😉



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School So Far


I’m Just Average Teen Me. With a week of school finally over, I thought it’d be a good time to review and reflect on everything that’s happened so far – trust me, it’s been eventful! First of all, it feels like so much longer than just a week; the holidays feel like so long ago!

Being back on Friday was especially strange, with having to get on a bus for the first time in six weeks, and dealing with waking up several hours earlier than I normally would. Not to mention the fact that there weren’t even three whole year groups in school! Only Year 7s, Year 11s and the Year 10 Peer Mentors come in on the first day back, so school was weirdly quiet!

I shocked Britt with my brace-less teeth, as I’d been waiting to do for weeks. She noticed the instant I opened my mouth, which is strange, since Rachel took at least 20 minutes to realise! It didn’t take anyone that long to get used to it either – apparently I don’t look that different… I definitely thought otherwise right after having them off!

Turns out, Britt and I are actually mentoring the same group of Year 7s, and our teacher that leads the class is also my French teacher, which is awesome! So far, they seem to be a really nice group, too. Although I’m quite sure I wasn’t as small as they are when I was that young… To anyone just starting high school, it flies by. 

I got letters for a trip to Italy on Thursday, and handed it in on Friday, hoping that there are enough places for me to get in. The dilemma is, Britt is still trying to persuade her parents to let her go, so I might have to drop out if she can’t go… Either that or make some other friends that are going on the trip… Which we all know I’m not the best at…

Speaking of making friends, at my school, we split each year group into halves, and have lessons as separate year halves. This year, both have merged for our GCSE choices…. It’s really strange to be with people I’ve never had lessons with, and having to learn everyone’s names is like being in Year 7 again! Except with the reassurance of knowing about half of the people in your class. Certain people I’ll get along with almost instantly, but there’s always them awkward seating plans where you literally say nothing throughout the lesson… :/

Since it’s been a year since it happened, I thought it would be fun to bring back the topic of Theo Thursdays. No, not bring back the posts – just the topic. If you followed within the last year (which the majority of you did), you’ll probably be super confused, unless you’ve explored the realm of my menu bar (it’s just at the top of the page).  Basically, a new kid joined the school, I thought he liked (you know the like) me, which was awkward because I didn’t like him back, and I just wanted to get to the bottom of it. After about 4 weeks, I found out he actually liked Ashley, which was quite the relief. Check out that menu if you’re interested in the whole story!

Flash forward a year and we’re really good friends. It’s strange how things turn out, isn’t it?

Timetable-wise, it’s a lot of “meh”, as Bob would say. When I first looked at it, I wanted to die. Well, that’s a little extreme, but I really wasn’t happy with the teachers I had. For several reasons, actually.

  1. I ended up with the new Geography teacher, and had to leave behind one of my favourite teachers for him to take his place (giant “ugh”)
  2. For a split second, I thought I had my favourite science teacher – turns out, it was his wife… -.-
  3. I didn’t have the same English teacher as last year 😦
  4. I have hardly any classes with people I was hoping to have classes with

A week later, I wasn’t as disappointed with my classes. The science teacher’s wife is actually really nice, and that lesson has been one of my favourites all week. I have a few classes with people I know. My old English teacher isn’t the only good teacher, even if he is the best one. But the geography teacher still is my least favourite of the timetable. #

I’m doing a Sports Leadership course too, this year, that I can have as a qualification, and we get hoodies with our names on, which I am beyond excited for!

And that’s pretty much everything going on this week! Are you back to school yet?

BYE! 😀

Just Average Teen Me